Why I Chose to Start a Blog … & the Reasons Behind My Why

I often think about why I started a blog. I feel like I have a lot of experience with a few different life situations that I could share with other people with the hopes of helping them know that they are not alone. Sometimes just knowing you aren’t alone is enough to ease the pain or confusion of most life altering experiences. You, in fact, are not alone… no matter what season of life you are going through, or what hardship you are facing. Someone knows your struggle and little tidbits of advice are out there if you know where to find them.

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My world was completely turned upside down in November 2017 as I’ve written about some of my other blog posts. My stepson, who had previously only been with us on weekends, was now residing at our house full-time, unexpectedly. I pretty much got a crash course instantly, learning firsthand how to be a mother. If there’s one other mom out there who goes from being a part-time stepmom to a full-time mother overnight, I want to be able to help her know she is not alone.

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Going through bariatric surgery for the first time in 2007, and then having my LapBand removed in 2015, has given me a lot of first-hand experience with different types of complications and living life with having weight loss surgery. Then, add in having gastric bypass in June 2018… I consider myself a slightexpert on the subject lol. I’ve learned a lot along the bariatric journey by trial and error, spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on different products or protein shakes to find out what’s good and what is not. Shopped many different stores to find out who had the best prices and the best customer service. And I would love to be able to share that experience that I have and any words of wisdom with somebody else who may be going to the same thing, or who is considering having surgery.

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Being the wife of a wounded veteran is also something that came with lots of trials and tribulations. I did not know a thing about PTSD or what a TBI was prior to meeting my husband. I spent countless hours researching all that I could to find about life after being an infantry Marine. I took a long time to find people with actual experience that could help me and guide me along the way. There were probably about 1000 calls made to our local VA hospital to learn the ropes of the system. I single-handedly helped my husband become service-connected, which was no easy feat in itself. I didn’t know what life is going to entail with a husband whose wounds are not visible. He looks completely normal on the outside, and to most people, they wouldn’t know any different. But there’s nightmares and night terrors, and forgetfulness and constant reminders so that things operate smoothly in our home. If I can help with one other wife or a girlfriend of a wounded warrior understand that although some days may seem like a challenge, that there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel, that’s why am doing this.

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To any other woman who has been married and divorced in her 20s and then remarried in her later 20s. This is for you. To any other a 33-year-old woman who does not have any children of her own, this is for you. For the women who struggle with infertility and PCOS, and the constant questions of when you’re going to grow your family, you’re not alone. This is real, and so is the pain and defeat.

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There are so many people in this world that I get inspired by, and I dream to be like them someday. Rachel Hollis is an amazing example of this. As she says, she has no formal education and has learned everything with the help of a Google search bar. I want the world to know that anything is possible when you set your mind to it. I have no formal education when it comes to writing. I graduated high school and actually despised English/Language Arts my entire life… right down to being in remedial reading classes until I practically graduated high school. But sharing my experiences in life brings a different meaning to writing. I want to help people, and let people know that they are not alone. Give tidbits of advice that I’ve learned along the way or tips from a path that I have forged myself. I took cosmetology classes in high school and then proceeded to go back to school for automotive mechanics. I took one semester of college… a total of three classes… and manage to fail one of those classes. So, writing isn’t something you would exactly expect from me. I’ve worked for the past 15 years in my family’s trucking business, wearing every hat from paperwork girl to dispatcher to HBIC (Head B*tch In Charge, in case you were wondering lol). Becoming knowledgeable and exceeding the expectations of a young female in my industry is something that I’m extremely proud of. I got thrown into the ringers of dispatch many years back when my father went into the hospital for stomach pains and ended up being admitted to the hospital for almost a month with a severe diverticulitis attack that resulted in several surgeries. I taught myself as I went along, and pretty much faked it till I made it… all while feeling the weight of 10 full-time employees, and their families, relying on the job I was doing.

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There is nothing in this world that you could not achieve if you can dream it. I am such a firm believer in this. I finally, after many years of what seemed like “just floating by”, have a solid plan and goals established for myself. I want to make an impact on the world, even if its only one person. I want to get my family out of debt. Between taking on the responsibilities of being a full-time stepmom, and the astronomical fees of having to fight a court case, this really derailed my husbands and my financial plan. So, my goal, each day, is to work towards making up the deficit in my income from my full-time job and help my family get out of this debt. Beyond that, we would love to move and build a home together. I’ve never been one to settle for mediocre, and I’ve always wanted to do great things. Success was not an option, it was the only option. I have a strong determination and pretty much the perseverance of a marathon runner to accomplish my dreams. And I want to help anybody else who has that same fire burning in their soul, get where they want to be. I want to help people, I want people to know that no matter what season of life they are currently in that there is a silver lining ahead. That on your weakest days, know that you are the one who can pull yourself up by your bootstraps.

As I sit in traffic, talking to my iPad as it types this blog for me, I realize I am very grateful for all the things I do have in my life. I’m grateful for the work ethic that was instilled in me as a child. I’m grateful for the capability to love a child that I did not bear myself, more than anything in this world. I am grateful that I have a great man who loves me and despite our difficulties, I know he is there behind me 100%. So, what do you all my fellow women out there, and maybe even men too, keep your chin up… You can do it… I have faith in you.

xoxo – Cheryl

 

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My ONE THING I do Every Week to Keep My Sanity as a Busy Mom, Wife & Boss-lady!

The one, and probably most important, word of advice I can give any other busy mom, wife or boss-lady, is to make time for yourself!

It took me forever to learn this valuable lesson. After almost 5 years with my wounded warrior husband, over a year after becoming a full-time step mom, and about 8 months into my bariatric journey 2.0 with the RNY gastric bypass, I can finally say that this is something I make sure I do for myself every week and it has helped my mental well-being tremendously.

Now, I will say, “me-time” can come in funny ways… for me, its grocery shopping. Crazy, right?? Well, let me back track here a little bit. I recently discovered Wegman’s… now, if you aren’t familiar, it’s like the Taj Mahal of grocery stores, in my opinion at least. BUT, the closest one is about 45 minutes from my home. I use Walmart Grocery Pick Up for my bulk items and most of the food for my hubby and kiddo. But once a week, I take a trip down to Wegmans. This is where I get most of my food for my bariatric journey. So, in addition to my time alone, it’s also like a treat, getting to shop for foods JUST for me.

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The one rule I do have though is I always go alone. Selfish, right??? Nope! Not at all. I go on an evening when my husband is home with our son, or when he’s visiting his bio-mom. This time is reserved just for me! No husband, no kids, no dogs, no “work” … just me! I listen to my favorite podcasts on my way there and on the way home. I take my time cruising the aisles of the store without interruption or people nagging me for other stuff. I pick out the high-quality, protein dense foods my body needs and deserves along this journey of transformation.

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I often go after a long day at work, but I find it so refreshing. I feel like I’m getting that solo time to unwind, regroup and get ready for the week ahead. I get all of my food to last me the week, and its food I look forward to eating, because I know it’s healthy.

The other part of this is my podcasts or audible books (PS – if you click that link, you can get a free, 30 day trial to Audible from Amazon!). I really think I was living under a rock before I found them. I look forward to the new podcasts each week that I subscribe to, or the next chapter in a book I’m listening to. It falls in line with my 2019 goal of always working to learn something new and working on better myself. So, between the healthy grocery shipping, and the podcasts/books, it’s a win-win.

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We can’t be the best wife, mother or worker that we can be, or to our best potential, without taking that much needed time for ourselves. This is just one of the things I do for myself every week. Sometimes it’s taking a nice, Sunday evening bubble bath (I LOVE my Lush bath bombs!), or a little time in my hot tub on an evening during a busy week. Maybe it’s going to a paint & sip, grabbing a coffee with your girlfriends, or taking that yoga class you keep putting off.

Make some time for you this week!

 

xoxo Cheryl

10 Things Every Bariatric Patient Needs to Bring to the Hospital (or wish they did!)

Here’s my list of must haves (or wish I had!) when I went in for any of my surgeries, but most recently from my Gastric Bypass/RNY surgery when I stayed in the hospital for 2 nights! I hope you find this list helpful!

Lip Balm / Chapstick – This is a game-changer! Your lips will be dry from surgery, and Chapstick will feel absolutely amazing to rehydrate your lips. Plus, you’ll also be sipping little bits at a time, this will help you keep moisturized and avoid those awful feeling chapped lips! Here is one of my favorite lip balms (and the awesome scent/flavor will feel like a treat!).

Extra-long Phone Charger (or an extension cord) – One thing I can’t live without anywhere, nonetheless while stuck in the hospital, is a super long phone charger cable! It makes it more comfortable to be on your phone while it’s on the charger, so you aren’t trying to twist and turn to get it off the charger when needed! Here is the one on Amazon I use and have several of them for use everywhere!

Your Own Pillow – Nothing will make you feel more at home than having your own pillow to sleep on while you are staying at the hospital! Plus, this also helps for the ride home to help cushion your sensitive tummy from bumps and rough roads!

Something to Read – Whatever you like to keep occupied! Maybe your favorite magazine, or a great new book! I also liked having my iPad because I could stream shows to my headphones without bothering other people!

Slippers with Great Tread and Cozy Socks – Any time I have to go in for surgery, I always treat myself to a fresh, new pair of slippers! And they are usually the same Ugg Coquette slippers that I have used since my first round of bariatric surgery in 2007. They are warm, have GREAT tread, and are slip on! You can find them here. In addition, some fresh, cozy, soft socks would be great to have in your bag in case your toes get cold.

Comfy, Baggy Clothes to Wear Home & Around the Hospital – You’ll want to have loose fitting, comfy clothes to head home in. You certainly wouldn’t want to put on tight jeans right after having abdominal surgery! I found my biggest t-shirt, and comfiest sweats to pack for the trip home. I also had an extra set packed to wear around the hospital once they let me out of my gown. A non-constrictive bralette would also be a great thing to pack if you don’t want “the girls” hanging loose … I have a few that I LOVE to wear all the time when I don’t really feel like wearing a full out bra lol.

A Robe – I’m not a huge robe fan normally, but I found this robe and fell in LOVE. Like, no joke, I could wear this ALL. THE. TIME. Reason for this in the hospital bag is because they will want you up and walking as soon and as often as possible! And no one wants their tushy giving away a free show while your pacing the hospital halls. Plus, you’ll look stylish and comfy as hell lol!

A Throw Blanket – Not only will this help you stay warm, but it’s also nice to have something else from home to bring comfort when you are away. I have a million throw blankets… borderline addiction maybe … but I seriously bring them everywhere! I have this one in my car because I find I am always cold, especially in the car with my hubby!

A Hair Brush, Extra Hair Ties, and Dry Shampoo – Now, I don’t know about you, but I seem to go through hair ties like water… I am ALWAYS losing them! So having a few extra on hand is never a bad idea. A hair brush because no one wants bed head lol. And for those of you who already love it as much as I do, dry shampoo! This will give your hair a little more life and freshen it up a bit… I mean, who doesn’t feel better when their hair is good?? Another tip – bring a beanie or a hat if you don’t feel like messing with your hair – problem solved!

Bathroom Essentials – All the normal, go to bathroom essentials you would pack when you travel… tooth brush, tooth paste, deodorant, shampoo and conditioner if you’re feeling up to showering.

If there is anything else you can think of, comment below and let the other readers know!! Thanks again for popping by and taking the time to read!

xoxo Cheryl