I often think about why I started a blog. I feel like I have a lot of experience with a few different life situations that I could share with other people with the hopes of helping them know that they are not alone. Sometimes just knowing you aren’t alone is enough to ease the pain or confusion of most life altering experiences. You, in fact, are not alone… no matter what season of life you are going through, or what hardship you are facing. Someone knows your struggle and little tidbits of advice are out there if you know where to find them.
My world was completely turned upside down in November 2017 as I’ve written about some of my other blog posts. My stepson, who had previously only been with us on weekends, was now residing at our house full-time, unexpectedly. I pretty much got a crash course instantly, learning firsthand how to be a mother. If there’s one other mom out there who goes from being a part-time stepmom to a full-time mother overnight, I want to be able to help her know she is not alone.
Going through bariatric surgery for the first time in 2007, and then having my LapBand removed in 2015, has given me a lot of first-hand experience with different types of complications and living life with having weight loss surgery. Then, add in having gastric bypass in June 2018… I consider myself a slightexpert on the subject lol. I’ve learned a lot along the bariatric journey by trial and error, spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on different products or protein shakes to find out what’s good and what is not. Shopped many different stores to find out who had the best prices and the best customer service. And I would love to be able to share that experience that I have and any words of wisdom with somebody else who may be going to the same thing, or who is considering having surgery.
Being the wife of a wounded veteran is also something that came with lots of trials and tribulations. I did not know a thing about PTSD or what a TBI was prior to meeting my husband. I spent countless hours researching all that I could to find about life after being an infantry Marine. I took a long time to find people with actual experience that could help me and guide me along the way. There were probably about 1000 calls made to our local VA hospital to learn the ropes of the system. I single-handedly helped my husband become service-connected, which was no easy feat in itself. I didn’t know what life is going to entail with a husband whose wounds are not visible. He looks completely normal on the outside, and to most people, they wouldn’t know any different. But there’s nightmares and night terrors, and forgetfulness and constant reminders so that things operate smoothly in our home. If I can help with one other wife or a girlfriend of a wounded warrior understand that although some days may seem like a challenge, that there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel, that’s why am doing this.
To any other woman who has been married and divorced in her 20s and then remarried in her later 20s. This is for you. To any other a 33-year-old woman who does not have any children of her own, this is for you. For the women who struggle with infertility and PCOS, and the constant questions of when you’re going to grow your family, you’re not alone. This is real, and so is the pain and defeat.
There are so many people in this world that I get inspired by, and I dream to be like them someday. Rachel Hollis is an amazing example of this. As she says, she has no formal education and has learned everything with the help of a Google search bar. I want the world to know that anything is possible when you set your mind to it. I have no formal education when it comes to writing. I graduated high school and actually despised English/Language Arts my entire life… right down to being in remedial reading classes until I practically graduated high school. But sharing my experiences in life brings a different meaning to writing. I want to help people, and let people know that they are not alone. Give tidbits of advice that I’ve learned along the way or tips from a path that I have forged myself. I took cosmetology classes in high school and then proceeded to go back to school for automotive mechanics. I took one semester of college… a total of three classes… and manage to fail one of those classes. So, writing isn’t something you would exactly expect from me. I’ve worked for the past 15 years in my family’s trucking business, wearing every hat from paperwork girl to dispatcher to HBIC (Head B*tch In Charge, in case you were wondering lol). Becoming knowledgeable and exceeding the expectations of a young female in my industry is something that I’m extremely proud of. I got thrown into the ringers of dispatch many years back when my father went into the hospital for stomach pains and ended up being admitted to the hospital for almost a month with a severe diverticulitis attack that resulted in several surgeries. I taught myself as I went along, and pretty much faked it till I made it… all while feeling the weight of 10 full-time employees, and their families, relying on the job I was doing.
There is nothing in this world that you could not achieve if you can dream it. I am such a firm believer in this. I finally, after many years of what seemed like “just floating by”, have a solid plan and goals established for myself. I want to make an impact on the world, even if its only one person. I want to get my family out of debt. Between taking on the responsibilities of being a full-time stepmom, and the astronomical fees of having to fight a court case, this really derailed my husbands and my financial plan. So, my goal, each day, is to work towards making up the deficit in my income from my full-time job and help my family get out of this debt. Beyond that, we would love to move and build a home together. I’ve never been one to settle for mediocre, and I’ve always wanted to do great things. Success was not an option, it was the only option. I have a strong determination and pretty much the perseverance of a marathon runner to accomplish my dreams. And I want to help anybody else who has that same fire burning in their soul, get where they want to be. I want to help people, I want people to know that no matter what season of life they are currently in that there is a silver lining ahead. That on your weakest days, know that you are the one who can pull yourself up by your bootstraps.
As I sit in traffic, talking to my iPad as it types this blog for me, I realize I am very grateful for all the things I do have in my life. I’m grateful for the work ethic that was instilled in me as a child. I’m grateful for the capability to love a child that I did not bear myself, more than anything in this world. I am grateful that I have a great man who loves me and despite our difficulties, I know he is there behind me 100%. So, what do you all my fellow women out there, and maybe even men too, keep your chin up… You can do it… I have faith in you.
xoxo – Cheryl
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