Mom, Wife, Boss – Veteran's Wife, Bariatric Life

Why I DO NOT Believe in New Year’s “Resolutions”

So it’s a Friday evening, and I’m sitting here enjoying a nice relaxing pedicure, and realized it’s been a really long time since I wrote a blog post. I’ve been meaning to write this one since last year actually. Being the new year is upon us, I figured I’d share about why I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. It’s something that weighs on my mind every single year when I see people making a promise to themselves to change everything under the sun about their lives, beginning on one single day… this year more so because it’s the beginning of a new decade; not just a new year.

I’m all for change and self-improvement … don’t get me wrong. It’s not that. I just feel like the entire “resolution” process in particular is setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. People tend to get really hyped up and dive in full force, only to overwhelm themselves and fall flat. I like to refer to my take on the new year as “New Year’s Goals” as opposed to resolutions. I think goals aren’t as harshly defined, but yet have set good intentions for the upcoming year. How many times do you here of someone being disappointed in themselves for falling off their resolution wagon, only a few days or weeks into the year?? It’s all too common. Go to a gym mid-January and you will see what I mean… half as many people are there as there were on January 1st or 2nd.

New Year’s Goals are for the whole year …. a focus of change and intention that you can practice and prefect as the year progresses.

Everyone’s goals are different, obviously, but a lot of the time involve some sort of self-improvement. For me, my goals this year include daily meditation, intention setting on a regular basis (according to moon phases if you follow me on Instagram and believe in that sort of thing) and working on my overall health; mentally and physically. Of course my mediation and intention setting go hand in hand with my health, and how I plan to go about changing it.

I have no plan on changing everything overnight … again, that’s a setup for failure…. instead, I started slowly towards the end of last year. I began meditating as an almost-daily practice. Every evening while I fall asleep, I put on my headphones (my husband just got me these super awesome ones for Christmas), and listen to a sleep meditation or chakra balance meditation to fall asleep to. There are some amazing ones on YouTube as well as ones available through Audible. I found myself more rested, and able to clear my mind and fall into a deeper sleep faster. I also added this melatonin supplement as a natural aid to help me fall asleep, as I’m not a huge fan of prescription sleep medication for me. Being able to get a good night’s sleep makes getting up at 5:30AM a lot easier, especially on these cold, winter, New York mornings. Not to mention, enough energy to get me through the day productively.

Through the holidays, I enjoyed my fair share of sweets and treats, indulged here and there, but did not beat myself up over it. We are allowed to enjoy food, and almost any food, in moderation. So to start off the year, I’m going back into my routine, knowing that I will inevitably have to detox from sugar, and that it will honestly suck a bit …. but I’m not leaving the holiday season feeling denied. I’ll slowly transition back to my stricter eating habits, and once the New Year’s rush is passed as the gym…. mid-January… I plan on adding dates back on my calendar for strictly gym-time. These are times and days I put on my calendar, set up reminders, and make a promise to myself to go to the gym… no matter how many excuses I can think up. Sometimes it’s for a particular class, or just plain cardio time. Preplanned and on the calendar give me a little more accountability when I don’t have a gym partner there.

Another thing is that I always start the new year with a crispy and clean new calendar. And fresh, rewritten to-do lists. Organization. Ahhhh… one thing that sparks some major joy for me. Ever since finding about her brand years ago, Erin Condren has been a personal favorite when it comes to planners. I love that I can customize my planner to how I like it, pick my own style and colors, and find what is most visually appealing to me at this season in life. This year I chose an awesome astronomical design that incorporated my sun sign, Pisces, as well as a matching throw blanket … all with my name on them. I mean… who doesn’t want a matching planner and soft, plushy throw?? Just me?? Ok then!! (Trust me… you won’t regret the throw… I’m in love and have to steal it back from my hubs and kiddo all the time lol).

Of course I have some smaller goals on my list too…. be more timely with folding and putting away laundry. Getting rid of clothes and other household items that no longer fit or spark joy for me (thanks Marie Kondo! If you don’t know who or what I’m talking about, check out her books here or her series on Netflix … life changing!). Declutter. Maintain organization. Find happiness and balance in a clean home.

Overall, whether you choose to set “New Year’s Resolutions” or go with my more casual approach of “New Year’s Goals” … I think the most important part is to just keep growing. Keep learning. Keep pushing forward. Find what makes you happy, what you need to improve, what your family needs and go with it! Write it out so you have some accountability to yourself, maybe in your Erin Condren planner, or someplace else that you will see it often… a mirror you look at daily like your bathroom mirror is a great place for this, too! Do check-in’s with yourself often. It’s all about growth – not perfection. Change can happen at any time, not just January 1^st. There are 365 chances for fresh starts every year… Do something daily to improve your life… you will thank yourself later!

Scentsy … My HONEST Experience as a Consultant

Over the years, I’ve dabbled quite a bit in the field of direct sales (also referred to as MLM, Multi-Level Marketing). There have definitely been some ups ands downs, as well as a TON of learning curves, to say the least. One of the biggest things I’ve learned over the years is to only go with a company that you LOVE, has products that you ACTUALLY use, and has a solid background that shares similar beliefs.

I had been a long time customer of Scentsy before even thinking about signing on as an Independent Sales Consultant. I had their wickless wax warmers in my home for several years, and would reach out to my local consultant when I needed a refill on my wax supply. Back in August of 2017, they were running a special promo for new reps (which they do often!) and I decided to sign up just so I could get the same products I’ve been using, but get them at a great price, with an easy way to earn free products and half off items. It was essentially a win-win.

Once I signed on, I would try out different product lines, and found that I LOVED their laundry line, and cleaning line. They were so much more than just wax and I never realized it! Best part, I was getting them at a discount for using party rewards from when my friends or family would place orders!! Another win-win!! Who doesn’t love a discount?!

Lets talk getting PAID to share products you love… ummm, what’s not to love about that?! Scentsy offers a compensation plan that starts at 20% of product sales, and eventually bumps up to 25%, in addition to being able to make additional percentages if you choose to grow your “team” (this refers to people who sign up with Scentsy with you as there sponsor, or mentor). They also have incentives for selling a certain amount during your initial start up period!

I know a lot of you are thinking… all those MLM people are sooooo pushy! Well, the truth is, you don’t have to be! Share occasionally on your Facebook, make a shopping group or IG to promote sales or specials going on. Give your friends samples and catalogs. Ask your hairdresser or nail tech if you can leave a few catalogs in their waiting room. Word of mouth from your satisfied customers, and actually using the products yourself is what people like to see. They like to ask you what your favorite scent is, or what you would recommend. So you get to know your products, find your favorites, and share! When someone places an order, give them a few samples and a catalog to share with their friends if they’d like. Its not all about the outdated “in home” parties that used to be popular years ago … ain’t nobody got time for that anymore. Lets face it… people are BUSY and trying to get a bunch of your girlfriends together at the same time to see what you are selling is not so feasible. (***side note*** A great alternative to the traditional party is to get together with a few of your friends who work in direct sales and make a girls night party out of it! You can order from each-other or your other friends … think mini vendor fair… and show off a few of your favorite products without having the pressure of a solo showcase of all of your items. It’s a great way to network and exchange catalogs and ideas!)

From my experience, I have months where I have over $1000 in sales, down to months when I only sell less than $100… and that’s ok! Life gets hectic, and sometimes I just don’t have the time to share my products or what I’m melting this week. It’s all about what you put in and what your goals are.

All in all, I love that I am a consultant for Scentsy. It’s a nice little side hustle, and the perks are great since I’m already using these products all over my home. The small initial investment has certainly paid for itself. There is a small monthly fee of $10 to keep your website active, which only requires $50 in sales a month to pay for itself.

Here are some of the key FAQ directly quoted from the Scentsy Website for your quick reference!! More info can be found by clicking here!

What is Scentsy?

“Scentsy is a direct selling company and international leader in home and personal fragrance, offering stylish, innovative and customizable products designed to Warm the Heart, Enliven the Senses and Inspire the Soul. Scentsy products are sold by a network of Scentsy Consultants in 11 countries.”

What does it mean to be an Independent Scentsy Consultant?

“As an Independent Scentsy Consultant, you are an independent business owner authorized to sell Scentsy products for a commission. You have the freedom to control when and where you work your business, and you can increase your commission by selling more products or earning residual income from friends and family you’ve recruited to join your team.”

Where are Scentsy products made?

“Scentsy’s wickless candles and home-fragrance products are made in Scentsy’s state-of-the-art manufacturing facilities in Meridian, Idaho, USA. Our warmers are designed by Scentsy and made to our exact specifications by the skilled artisans employed by our manufacturing partner in China.”

What does Scentsy sell?

“The Scentsy Diffuser instantly fills the air with world-class fragrant all-natural and essential Scentsy Oils, while Scentsy’s flagship product line of scented, wax Scentsy Bars heated in handcrafted warmers provides a safe, personal alternative to traditional candles. Additional product lines include on-the-go fragrances, laundry care, inventive cleaning solutions and luxurious personal care products for women, men and kids — all featuring exclusive Scentsy fragrance.”

About Scentsy

The Scentsy Diffuser instantly fills the air with world-class fragrant all-natural and essential oils, while Scentsy’s flagship product line of scented, wax Scentsy Bars heated in handcrafted warmers provides a safe, personalized alternative to traditional candles.

Additional product lines include on-the-go fragrances, laundry care, inventive cleaning solutions and luxurious personal care products for women, men and kids — all infused with exclusive Scentsy fragrance. Scentsy products are sold through a network of Independent Consultants running home-based businesses throughout North America, Europe, Australia and New Zealand.”

Company Facts

Founded in 2004
Headquartered in Meridian, Idaho, USA
Distribution sites in Meridian, Idaho, USA; Lexington, Kentucky, USA; Coppell, Texas, USA; Sydney, New South Wales, Australia; and Warsaw, Poland
Wax manufactured in Meridian, Idaho, USA
Operating in the United States and its territories, Canada, Mexico, Germany, Austria, France, Spain, Ireland, the United Kingdom, Australia and New Zealand, with sales-only operations in Italy, Poland and Luxembourg
Privately held, owned and operated by Orville and Heidi Thompson
First location was a 40-foot ocean container on a small Idaho sheep farm
Company employees: 1,000+
Method of sales/distribution: Direct sales, party plan
Independent Consultants (distributors): 100,000 and growing

My ONE THING I do Every Week to Keep My Sanity as a Busy Mom, Wife & Boss-lady!

The one, and probably most important, word of advice I can give any other busy mom, wife or boss-lady, is to make time for yourself!

It took me forever to learn this valuable lesson. After almost 5 years with my wounded warrior husband, over a year after becoming a full-time step mom, and about 8 months into my bariatric journey 2.0 with the RNY gastric bypass, I can finally say that this is something I make sure I do for myself every week and it has helped my mental well-being tremendously.

Now, I will say, “me-time” can come in funny ways… for me, its grocery shopping. Crazy, right?? Well, let me back track here a little bit. I recently discovered Wegman’s… now, if you aren’t familiar, it’s like the Taj Mahal of grocery stores, in my opinion at least. BUT, the closest one is about 45 minutes from my home. I use Walmart Grocery Pick Up for my bulk items and most of the food for my hubby and kiddo. But once a week, I take a trip down to Wegmans. This is where I get most of my food for my bariatric journey. So, in addition to my time alone, it’s also like a treat, getting to shop for foods JUST for me.

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The one rule I do have though is I always go alone. Selfish, right??? Nope! Not at all. I go on an evening when my husband is home with our son, or when he’s visiting his bio-mom. This time is reserved just for me! No husband, no kids, no dogs, no “work” … just me! I listen to my favorite podcasts on my way there and on the way home. I take my time cruising the aisles of the store without interruption or people nagging me for other stuff. I pick out the high-quality, protein dense foods my body needs and deserves along this journey of transformation.

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I often go after a long day at work, but I find it so refreshing. I feel like I’m getting that solo time to unwind, regroup and get ready for the week ahead. I get all of my food to last me the week, and its food I look forward to eating, because I know it’s healthy.

The other part of this is my podcasts or audible books (PS – if you click that link, you can get a free, 30 day trial to Audible from Amazon!). I really think I was living under a rock before I found them. I look forward to the new podcasts each week that I subscribe to, or the next chapter in a book I’m listening to. It falls in line with my 2019 goal of always working to learn something new and working on better myself. So, between the healthy grocery shipping, and the podcasts/books, it’s a win-win.

We can’t be the best wife, mother or worker that we can be, or to our best potential, without taking that much needed time for ourselves. This is just one of the things I do for myself every week. Sometimes it’s taking a nice, Sunday evening bubble bath (I LOVE my Lush bath bombs!), or a little time in my hot tub on an evening during a busy week. Maybe it’s going to a paint & sip, grabbing a coffee with your girlfriends, or taking that yoga class you keep putting off.

Make some time for you this week!

xoxo Cheryl

How I manage to balance being a Mom, Wife & Boss with multitasking!

Ahhh…. It’s Friday night, 6:15PM and I’m still sitting at my desk at work. This week has been extremely long and draining. Luckily, my step kiddo is with his biological mother tonight so I can put in a few extra hours at the office. Much needed time to get caught up and squared away for the busy weekend. Plus, I tend to work more productively when I’m alone in my office… this would only be better had I brought wine!

With a little bit of downtime, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I manage to find balance when things get chaotic. I have always struggled with finding a work-life/home-life/personal-growth balance. Working hard and being on a constant business hustle… I got that down pat! Being the wife of a wounded warrior, one thing I have learned to adjust to is sudden obstacles and last-minute change of plans (you can check out an early post I wrote about this here). But becoming a full-time stepmom almost a year and a half ago, THAT through a lot into upheaval. Talk about learning a new schedule, new lifestyle, and trying to fit 8 million new-to-me tasks into a small, 24-hour period, and still get a few hours of sleep at night… while still trying to work a full-time job and keep my home in one piece.

Now that I’ve got the mom situation under control a little more, I’ve been working on finding a balance in the three most important areas in my life so that all three are fulfilled and given the attention that they deserve. Here’s what a typical day looks like for me, and how I’ve managed to multitask and streamline some things to find a better balance and more productive environment for everyone in our household.

5:30AM – the alarm clock goes off…. It’s time to get kiddo up and ready for school. I hit snooze a few too many times, and by 5:45 I’m up and on the move. While kiddo is getting ready, I head out to the kitchen, let the dogs out, feed them, make kiddo his over-easy egg & get his vitamins and meds ready for him to take.

6:30AM – kiddo is off to school and this is when I will take a little time to load the dishwasher, start a load of laundry or tidy up a little bit before I have to get myself ready for work. Somedays, I can’t deny it…. I will definitely crawl back under my nice warm covers and set the alarm for 30 minutes. Anyone else get the most amazing sleep when you know you’re supposed to be awake, but you just can’t help it? No? Just me? LOL

7:00AM – time to get myself ready for work… jump in the shower, get dressed, you know, the normal morning routine. I make sure I take my meds and my vitamins, pack my lunch and snacks for the day, and off to work I go.

Now while I’m at work, my laundry is going, my Roomba is vacuuming, and any dishes from this morning are in the dish drain drying. Seriously thou, I LOVE my Roomba… it’s so nice to come home to clean floors daily!! Its automatically set to go every day at 10AM and I can always just ask Alexa to start the vacuum. I definitely love technology that makes my life simpler!

8:00AM – the work day starts… I wear a few different crowns in my career, but most days I’m at my desk, processing paperwork and taking customer calls.

Early afternoon – I leave work to go pick up the kiddo from the bus stop. Some days, I will run and pick up my grocery order on my way home (I use Walmart Grocery for the EASIEST pick up! I simply add things via the app or my computer, place the order, and pick it up! They even load it into my car and I’m off! Click the link above for a promo code to get $10 off your first order!). Any time I’m in the car alone, I’m all about the podcasts or books on Audible (get a great deal for new subscribers by clicking that link!!)… You can find some of my favorite books I’ve listened to recently here. I recently discovered them, and it has made my time in the car feel so much more productive. I love listening to my fav girl, Rachel Hollis, or other learning, self-help, or inspirational podcasts or books (you can find some of them here!).

I get home, will put groceries away if it’s a grocery day, let the dogs out for a quick walk, swap over laundry, pack my kiddo’s “work bag” with his favorite snacks, iPod and a book. I’ll scroll Facebook or Instagram(check me out via those links for the most up-to-date info on whats going on in my life! Id really appreciate it!)while I’m waiting at his bus stop, and back to work we go! He’ll do his homework then relax for a bit while I finish up my work day.

5:00PMish – time to head back home! Kiddo will feed the dogs and empty the Roomba while I get dinner started. I try to utilize my Crock Pot or Instant Pot as much as possible to help cut down on the dinner cook time and make then nights chores a little less hectic. I’ll do whatever other chores that need to be taken care of while dinner cooks. I’ll often make myself a shake, because once everything is taken care of on the home front, its time for me to hit the gym. I’ll usually try to head to the gym to get some cardio in around 6:30-7 and be home around 8ish to tuck kiddo in to do it all again tomorrow!

8:30PM or so – I’ll take care of any last-minute chores, spend a little time writing, prepare any shipments for eBay or my small Etsy shop, maybe even catch up on some of my guilty pleasure TV show, then its bedtime for this tired mama!!

Now, we do have a lot of variations that go on in our schedule, like nights we have therapist appointments, Boy Scouts, or firehouse meetings. Each day is a little different, plus you never know what will get thrown your way! I also work in a crazy-hectic environment, so some days I’m stuck at work till 7 or 8 at night, or I have to be up for work at 5AM… we just adjust our schedule and routine as needed.

Lately, life has taught me a lot about learning how to roll with the punches. Things don’t always go as planned, and some nights you are just too tired to get it all done. And that’s OK!! Just make sure those things that are put off today are a priority tomorrow. Most of the time, if something wasn’t done the day before, I will try to get it done the following morning when I have a little time to myself. Moral of the story… find balance. Whether it be getting up early to make your morning go easier or listening to podcasts to help yourself grow while you are in the car, do it. You’ll be happy you did.

Bonus Tip! – My Apple Calendar has been a LIFESAVER! I linked it to my email, so my phone, laptop, desktop and even my husband’s cell phone ALL have the SAME calendar. This way everyone knows what’s going on and what’s scheduled for that day, including our son’s custody schedule. I even put my workouts and date nights on the calendar to help with accountability!

I’m back! Where have I been?

First and foremost, I’d like to welcome you to the new home of the Veteran’s Wife, Bariatric Life blog! After some research and some solid advice from my idol, Rachel Hollis, I’ve decided to break away from Blogspot, aka Blogger, and branch out on my own!

Why I’ve been MIA for the past *almost* two years…

Where do I begin…. I left off telling you about my departure from the LLR cult nightmare and my pursuit of the gastric sleeve. I’m happy to say the door is completely closed with LLR and I had bariatric surgery on June 11^th, 2018!! Slight change in plans thou…. I had GASTRIC BYPASS!! This is the surgery I’ve wanted since they removed my band, but my old surgeon was against. After talking to my gastroenterologist, who happens to be one of my FAVORITE doctors ever, he referred me to an amazing and world-renowned bariatric surgeon in New York City! After meeting with my new surgeon and his kickass team, he agreed with my past history and severe reflux, that RNY (Roux-en-YGastric Bypass) was the best fit for me overall.

Surgery went well, despite only “bypassing” 100 cm of my intestines, instead of the standard 150 cm due to excessive scar tissue. I got to spend a few days in one of the top rated hospitals in the WORLD with an amazing view of the George Washington Bridge from my hospital room (check out my Instagram @veteranswifebariatriclife to see pics from when I was in the hospital!). My recovery was easy, and the transition from liquids, to soft foods, to normal foods was just as easy as the first go-around with my LapBand. I am so in love with my new “tiny tummy”!

Long story short….. things happen for a reason and always go with your gut! Had I not been sidetracked, hell, completely derailed (I’ll get back to the in a little bit), I would have went along with the Gastric Sleeve, despite my gut instinct that it wasn’t for me. I also suspect this had a lot to do with why I was dragging my feet during the process. I wasn’t excited. I tried to be… but deep down, I knew it wasn’t for me. I’m grateful that things turned out the way they did, and the “bigger plan” finally fell into place. I truly feel this surgery was the right fit for me, as I sit here, typing this post, 7 months post op, sipping on a protein shake.

Now the biggest reason I’ve been missing…. I’m a quasi-fulltime step mom now! I honestly do not know where to begin in telling this story. It’s long, and heartbreaking at times. I’ll just take a deep breath and dive right in.

In 2017, by husband (and I…. I put this in parentheses because its technically only my husband… step moms don’t really have any rights “legally” on paper) petitioned for official joint custody of my step son who was 9 at the time. We had a great relationship with his bio-mom and she was completely on board. We had him every weekend, from Friday to Sunday, as it was anyhow, and life was perfect. This worked well for all of us. I would take him to his baseball games during the week if his bio-mom had work, or if his step dad was busy with his son’s baseball team. Now it was time to put it on paper. We didn’t even have to appear before the judge and everything was agreed upon mutually.

Then it was like an atomic bomb was dropped… it was Friday, November 3^rd. I had picked my step son up early from school that day, as I had to get him to my parents’ house for the night so my husband and I could attend a good friend of ours wedding. On our way down from school, the flood gates opened and my kiddo had unleashed a fury of heartbreaking information. Stories of both physical & mental abuse, alcoholism, and neglect that broke my heart and completely blindsided my husband and myself. I had to pull over the car, and I held this poor, sweet, innocent 10 year old as he cried his eyes out and shook in fear that “CPS would come and take him and his siblings away” because he “told someone” what was happening. The only thing I could do was assure him that everything was going to be ok, that daddy and I would protect him, and that we were proud of him for telling me what was going on. The breaking point; lobster. A South African Lobster Tail he had so excitedly told his mother and step father about after going to dinner with my parents one week prior. They had went out to dinner to celebrate their one year anniversary of being “grandparents” so my husband and I could enjoy our first wedding anniversary together. Apparently, kids are not supposed to order lobster, and he was “reprimanded” for doing so. My parents didn’t care… they were the ones footing the bill… they told him he could anything he wanted, and this wasn’t his first time ordering his favorite lobster. He was excited to tell his older step brother and even wanted to take him there for his birthday, so he could have the famous giant lobster tail, too.

This was just the tip of a huge iceberg we were about to crash into. First thing Monday morning, we were in court, filing an order of protection and establishing emergency custody. I’ll spare you the details of a very long and painfully drawn out story, but after a full year plus, countless court dates and thousands upon thousands of dollars in legal fees, we now have primary physical custody and joint legal custody. The things that we went through as a family, I would never wish that on anyone. I spent 8 months driving him to and from his old school, an hour each way… that’s 4 hours in the car A DAY for me… 5 days a week… for EIGHT months. To say this took a toll on me mentally and physically would be an understatement. I was now in charge of someone else; making sure he was fed, bathed, nourished, healthy, happy… it was a learning curve. Anything and everything that had to do with me had to take a back seat (as well as my pursuit of bariatric surgery, round 2). I cried many days once I had dropped him off, knowing that I would have to squeeze an 8 hour workday into 4 hours that I was there, and seeing what seemed like no end in sight. But there would be an end… or at least a break from the craziness. I’m blessed to have an amazing child in my life, who is now 11, and thriving. Doing A-MAZE-ING in his new school district. Who is unbelievably well-behaved and well mannered. Who often reminds me that I’m doing a great job as his step mom, even when I question myself.

All in all, I am blessed. I am lucky. The custody situation is closed, for now. Surgery is DONE. I am on my way to a happier, healthier me. I’ve been working on finding the balance between family-care and self-care. Working on making myself a priority while still making sure my family is well taken care of. It’s no longer a weekend mom gig … it’s a 7-day-a-week mom gig. I have to put this tiny human first, while also putting my health and wellbeing first as well.

Here’s to 2019…. A year of self-improvement, thanks to my recent discovery of Podcasts and Audible …. Why didn’t I know about you when I was in the car for 4 hours a day!?! LOL

xoxo Cheryl

(JULY 5, 2017) A little bit about STRESS!

Let’s talk about stress… It’s something we all encounter every day in our lives and unfortunately, in this day and age, it’s something that gets to take up too much space in our heads. Hence the absence of any recent blog posts. Things seem to have been upside down for me a lot lately….

Where do I begin…..

As some of you know, starting last summer, I was an “independent fashion retailer” for LuLaRoe. I loved the people that I met along the way and loved the clothes. Who doesn’t love leggings, right?!?! But the truth is, it took up way too much time and effort, with not enough return, financially, in the long run. I realized that housework was slacking and time with my family was starting to take a backseat. I was glued to my phone, spent countless hours in my “Lula room” photographing, hanging, organizing, uploading, selling and shipping clothing. I became angry at the world and extremely low on patience. I was stressed constantly. And unfortunately my family and home really suffered. It was a really hard decision for me to say goodbye to this little “business” that I had spent so much time and energy on. But slowly I started to sell off all my boutique supplies, discounted my clothes to get them to sell, and shipped the rest back to LuLa-Land, in hopes of getting a refund that at least makes me break even on my investment.

With one less thing on my plate, I was hoping that the stress would subside. But it’s not uncommon that once one stress is gone, another stress finds its way into that space. There’s life. There’s trying to lose the mandated amount of weight for my bariatric doctor to be able to submit to my insurance company for surgical approval (while feeling like the odds are against me because of my PCOS and slow metabolism thanks to my lap band debacle). There’s custody changes going on with my amazing stepson that will, in the long run, will be sooooooo worth it. There’s June being an extremely difficult month for my husband, due to a traumatic anniversary from when he was overseas (putting his PTSD on high alert). There’s long hours at work and very little free time. There’s the constant worry about my husband and trying to maintain status quo for his sake. Then there is just trying to be a good old fashion housewife… making sure that there are groceries in the fridge, dinner to eat, bills paid, clean clothes and most importantly, a happy family.

That shit gets hard sometimes, I’m not gonna lie. Now that I’ve decided to take one giant piece of stress off my plate, it’s time for me to find a balance. Time to make sure I focus on me a little bit. I keep saying “next week will be the week that I start going to the gym”… “Next week will be the week I do meal prep”… ‘Next week I will make sure all the laundry is folded and put away for Monday morning”… unfortunately, none of those things have happened yet. But I still haven’t given up. I’ve been trying new meds with my doctor, and make sure I started today with a protein shake and a 64 ounce bottle of diet ice tea to set a goal for myself. I’ve actually gotten pretty far, and I’m sipping on it still, at 6:30 PM, while my husband is in his PTSD group for combat veterans and I’m waiting in the truck. Thank goodness I’m a good multitasker lol. I was glad I took the time tonight to go with him to his doctors appointment before group. This is something that I had put off while I was so busy focused on my little business. I forgot how important it was for me to go and support him. It’s frustrating to think that this business I got into to help support my family with a little extra income, actually turned out to do the exact opposite. I forgot about doing the things that I love, and the things that make me happy. There is such a huge weight off my shoulders now and a lot less pressure, thankfully. I want to enjoy my family, and spend genuine time with them… not uploading pictures and answering customer questions while my stepson is building a Lego. Now I can take the time and actually be present. Help him with his Lego because he enjoys his time with me just as much as I enjoy my time with him. I want to get back into knitting. And crafting. All the things that I used to do “for me”. I recently started making custom vinyl mugs and tumblers, something I can do in my free time and that I actually enjoy doing. It doesn’t stress me out at all, and it’s FUN!!! (Check out my Facebook, Trucker’s Wife Customs to see what I’m up to!!!).

It didn’t even hit me until this morning that I hadn’t written a blog post in a while. I got an inbox message from a fellow combat veterans wife and it made me realize why I started this blog in the first place. If I could help just one person with some of the things that I have learned along the way, or to help them realize that they are not alone in this ship, it’s worth it. And right now, the big thing I need to work on is learning how to balance stress. Learning what is important, what is not, and to let go of what I can. I recently made a decal for the front of my “to do planner” of the serenity prayer. I’m not the most religious person in the world, by far, but the serenity prayer and Matthew 6:34 are two things that I need to remind myself of often. And I will leave you with those, in hopes that they will help you as much as they help me, on a daily basis.

xoxo Cheryl

Matthew 6:34 NIV “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenityto accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.