Let’s talk about stress… It’s something we all encounter every day in our lives and unfortunately, in this day and age, it’s something that gets to take up too much space in our heads. Hence the absence of any recent blog posts. Things seem to have been upside down for me a lot lately….
Where do I begin…..
As some of you know, starting last summer, I was an “independent fashion retailer” for LuLaRoe. I loved the people that I met along the way and loved the clothes. Who doesn’t love leggings, right?!?! But the truth is, it took up way too much time and effort, with not enough return, financially, in the long run. I realized that housework was slacking and time with my family was starting to take a backseat. I was glued to my phone, spent countless hours in my “Lula room” photographing, hanging, organizing, uploading, selling and shipping clothing. I became angry at the world and extremely low on patience. I was stressed constantly. And unfortunately my family and home really suffered. It was a really hard decision for me to say goodbye to this little “business” that I had spent so much time and energy on. But slowly I started to sell off all my boutique supplies, discounted my clothes to get them to sell, and shipped the rest back to LuLa-Land, in hopes of getting a refund that at least makes me break even on my investment.
With one less thing on my plate, I was hoping that the stress would subside. But it’s not uncommon that once one stress is gone, another stress finds its way into that space. There’s life. There’s trying to lose the mandated amount of weight for my bariatric doctor to be able to submit to my insurance company for surgical approval (while feeling like the odds are against me because of my PCOS and slow metabolism thanks to my lap band debacle). There’s custody changes going on with my amazing stepson that will, in the long run, will be sooooooo worth it. There’s June being an extremely difficult month for my husband, due to a traumatic anniversary from when he was overseas (putting his PTSD on high alert). There’s long hours at work and very little free time. There’s the constant worry about my husband and trying to maintain status quo for his sake. Then there is just trying to be a good old fashion housewife… making sure that there are groceries in the fridge, dinner to eat, bills paid, clean clothes and most importantly, a happy family.
That shit gets hard sometimes, I’m not gonna lie. Now that I’ve decided to take one giant piece of stress off my plate, it’s time for me to find a balance. Time to make sure I focus on me a little bit. I keep saying “next week will be the week that I start going to the gym”… “Next week will be the week I do meal prep”… ‘Next week I will make sure all the laundry is folded and put away for Monday morning”… unfortunately, none of those things have happened yet. But I still haven’t given up. I’ve been trying new meds with my doctor, and make sure I started today with a protein shake and a 64 ounce bottle of diet ice tea to set a goal for myself. I’ve actually gotten pretty far, and I’m sipping on it still, at 6:30 PM, while my husband is in his PTSD group for combat veterans and I’m waiting in the truck. Thank goodness I’m a good multitasker lol. I was glad I took the time tonight to go with him to his doctors appointment before group. This is something that I had put off while I was so busy focused on my little business. I forgot how important it was for me to go and support him. It’s frustrating to think that this business I got into to help support my family with a little extra income, actually turned out to do the exact opposite. I forgot about doing the things that I love, and the things that make me happy. There is such a huge weight off my shoulders now and a lot less pressure, thankfully. I want to enjoy my family, and spend genuine time with them… not uploading pictures and answering customer questions while my stepson is building a Lego. Now I can take the time and actually be present. Help him with his Lego because he enjoys his time with me just as much as I enjoy my time with him. I want to get back into knitting. And crafting. All the things that I used to do “for me”. I recently started making custom vinyl mugs and tumblers, something I can do in my free time and that I actually enjoy doing. It doesn’t stress me out at all, and it’s FUN!!! (Check out my Facebook, Trucker’s Wife Customs to see what I’m up to!!!).
It didn’t even hit me until this morning that I hadn’t written a blog post in a while. I got an inbox message from a fellow combat veterans wife and it made me realize why I started this blog in the first place. If I could help just one person with some of the things that I have learned along the way, or to help them realize that they are not alone in this ship, it’s worth it. And right now, the big thing I need to work on is learning how to balance stress. Learning what is important, what is not, and to let go of what I can. I recently made a decal for the front of my “to do planner” of the serenity prayer. I’m not the most religious person in the world, by far, but the serenity prayer and Matthew 6:34 are two things that I need to remind myself of often. And I will leave you with those, in hopes that they will help you as much as they help me, on a daily basis.
xoxo Cheryl
Matthew 6:34 NIV “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenityto accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.